My dearest people!
In the first reading today we heard about justice, which cries out to God. Therefore, today I will cry out, because to the hospice, of which I am the director, there was brought in a few days ago an almost dead 36-year-old mother of two youngsters. Is it fair? Certainly not. Sometimes I feel like shouting: God, where is Your justice? I have tried to live honestly, and here there is a tumour that grows in my brain, and it slowly gnaws away. In order to get rid of it permanently, the whole brain would have to be removed. That would be rather a bit uncomfortable.
God, why are you so unfair? Sometimes people ask me, "Why did the Lord God send a priest such suffering?" We are not to think in this way. God is not a nasty old man sitting on a cloud who dislikes us, and so distributes sufferings and various adversities. He loves us in the moments of our success, but is especially close at times of misfortune. He does not leave his children. A fact – sometimes it is hard to
understand this closeness.
When there descends on us some undeserved suffering and it seems to us that God has left us, despite the raging emotions we need to make a mathematical presumption that He is with us and loves us with a very reliable love. Regardless of whether our life collapses or not, God is constant, unchanging, faithful. It is we who we are occasionally unfaithful. Intellectually, with this presumption we are able to accept what is emotionally difficult. But we have to repeat this to ourselves, because otherwise we cease to trust Him and go crazy.
What causes diseases? They are the result of biology and chance. Accidents are the result of chance - someone was driving too fast, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some events are the result of our free will. God cannot take this away from us. We want to burn ourselves, we burn ourselves. We want to make a mistake, we make it and suffer the consequences. We smoked a pipe, we lived in a house with asbestos, well we have cancer. The question of why God does not intervene, would be foolish, because He created biology and its laws. If we daily interfere with those laws, including those related to the formation of cancers, which sometimes the body starts to treat by mistake as a guest, then we would be behaving illogically.
Why doesn’t God rearrange these chances of ours? Firstly, so as not to deprive us of free will, and secondly because he has a completely different vision. We see everything in a closed, short stretch of our life, up to ninety years, maybe a hundred, and He is above the box of time. Space-time is expanding, and God is above it. He sees everything - from the Big Bang or another beginning of the world, right up to the end of the second coming of Christ. For him, everything that happens is very logical. When we squeeze through to the other side (and this squeeze
is called death), we will probably see everything from God's perspective.
I really like comparing death to birth. The child squeezes through, and is afraid when he is born. That cry after birth is not joyful, but full of terror; because he knew this motherly belly and suddenly this friendly environment began to push him into a cold, unknown space. But when a person welcomes this world, he doesn’t want to go back to the mother's belly. Perhaps it is similar with death. Probably the same process of leaving is not pleasant, but later we have a reality that exceeds our imagination. One that exceeds us – wonderful, when we are saved; full of longing, when we are waiting in Purgatory, and full of terror and hatred, when we are damned. I hope that hell is not paved with the skulls of priests and nuns, as a popular proverb says . . .
You know, cancer has helped me organize my life - liberated me from fear, from complexes. No one can do anything to me. I am a completely free man.
I am not wishing for any misfortune, I urge you to do this now, so that you don’t then get stuck in a situation that severely agonizes you.
Let me tell you about someone I know, who I do not really like. It is my father's friend from high school. All my life I had to call him "Uncle." He was a miser and didn’t live as a Catholic should. He always humiliated me. He didn’t even visit when I was ill and he was close by. It all hurt me. I gathered my courage, I took a deep breath and said I didn’t want to have anything in common with him. Not just to make him upset, but to sort out the relationship. I sorted it out with others too: some people I still have regular contact, with others limited, and still others none at all, it is true that real friends meet in misfortune.
If you, my dearest people, were stuck for years in some tangled situation, toxic relationship - husband a drunkard, arguments and every night he hits you, and you're a co-addict and you're afraid to make a move, even though the children are long gone, do not be afraid to be brave and throw the drunken husband out of the house. It is a moral obligation to protect our own lives. Marriage is of great value, the vows as well, but not when it becomes a mental or physical threat to us or to our children.
You do not need to go straight to such an extreme ... If someone is stuck in a friendship, a toxic relationship, feeling used, it must either be fixed or the relationship ended. If at work you are forced into dishonesty, to take bribes, if you're stuck in some objectively bad situation, don’t wait for the suffering to sort out your life, for them to steal your car or break a leg and then you’ll have two weeks in hospital to think about it. Make changes in your life today. I promise you, it will help you a lot. Amen.
After many months the situation has changed as a result of remorse.
The above sermon I gave in a very emotional period. Then such action seemed justified. I had not matured to the knowledge that severe and incurable disease does not give us any special rights. Especially for the moral judgment of others. It does not allow us to hurt them, does not exempt us from ethical duty, even being decent.
Finally, through long months assessing the situation, I decided to apologize to uncle, I have forgiven him and asked for his forgiveness.